Assignment 26A - Celebrating Failure

Assignment 26A – Celebrating Failure

·       Tell us about a time this past semester that you failed – whether in this class, or outside of this class. Don’t spare any details! It’d be even better if there was something you tried several times this semester, and failed each time.

o   If there was one moment of big failure that I can remember from this semester, it was when I didn’t turn in the first Elevator Pitch assignment in this class. Now, I did write a rough draft of what I would say and would cut out words and shorten phrases I didn’t need until it was as short as I thought it could be without going over one minute of speaking, and I decided to record it the day it was due because I hate being filmed on camera and I wanted to delay it for as long as possible so I didn’t have the video for so long of a time that I would repeatedly watch it and cringe at myself. In addition, there was a lot of other school things going on, and I wanted to focus on things I knew would take longer than recording a one-minute video and posting it on my blog post.

o   The same night the video was due, the night I was going to record it, I got a text message from my boyfriend, and a very stressful and emotional conversation ensued. My boyfriend has had depression since the fall of 2017, and every once in a while, he will hit a really deep low out of the blue, not knowing what it was that made him feel this way. Every time he has one, it takes a few hours’ worth of conversation to make him feel the least bit better or even have the slightest bit of peace of mind. That night, he had a really bad low, and talking to him and reassuring him was harder and more emotionally taxing for me than usual. By the time I finished my conversation with him, it was already 11:30pm, and I felt too stressed and too emotionally strained to do anymore work, so I decided not to do the assignment, which brought my grade down a letter grade. This state of feeling stressed and emotionally taxed continued for the next few days.

o   I failed as a good student, I feel like I failed in supporting my boyfriend, and I failed myself, for allowing myself to enter such a dark mindset so easily.

·       Tell us what you learned from it.

o   From this, I learned just what my stress and emotional threshold was and started to find ways that would help keep me from reaching it and crashing all over again. I also learned that I can’t make things better right away and that certain things take time to get better, and it’s a continuing lesson for me. I also learned how to keep pushing myself when things aren’t as great as I would like them to be and to just take things day by day.

o   Also, I learned to do video projects as soon as I possibly could to avoid a situation like this in the future.

·       Reflect, in general, on what you think about failure. Failure is hard, isn’t it? It’s embarrassing, sure, but it also means that we have to change something about ourselves. Talk about how you handle failures (emotionally, behaviorally). Finally, talk about how this class has changed your perspective on failure – are you more likely to take a risk now than you were just a few months ago?

o   My views on failure has changed over the years as I went through middle school and high school. I was afraid of failure in middle school because I was held to this super high unrealistic standard by the people around me that eventually became my own, which increased the pressure I felt which just made me feel more stressed. As I transitioned into high school, I learned that failure isn’t something so bad. It’s an opportunity to learn what it was that I didn’t comprehend and try to find ways to change that. Also, through high school, though the pressure to do great was still high, it wasn’t as great of a priority as it was when I was in middle school. It still is embarrassing to admit that I have failed at something, but I’ve become more accepting of it whenever I do fail. Emotionally, I berate myself for a few minutes before trying to push those thoughts aside so I can continue doing the important things that I have to get done. I’ve learned to not let failure get in the way of my day, and while I am not successful at doing this all the time, I’m definitely getting better at it.

o   ENT3003 is definitely a different class, since it’s the first class I’ve ever had where exams are nonexistent. It’s also the first class I’ve had where I really had to interact with other people and ask what their ideas were. In terms of how it’s changed my perspective on failure, it hasn’t really changed it much other than the fact it confirms that is a means of learning and improving yourself. I’m more open to new ideas, and I think I’m just a bit more likely to take a risk now than I was a few months ago.